Explicit Disney
by WhyAmISoFunky
Summary: A really weird story about your favorite childhood characters becoming shit-ass stoners.


**EXPLICIT DISNEY **

**AUTHORS NOTE**

**This story is weird and shit**

**Chapter 1**

"Where the fuck has Pluto gone now, that fluff-fucker," Mickey told himself, looking around Pluto's man-cave. His dildo's, inflatable love dolls and assorted sex toys were all in their usual places, but Pluto wasn't there. He went back into his house, grabbing some lube on the way, and rubbing it onto his huge ears. He went into the kitchen to make himself a sandwich. While he ate the sandwich, he fist-pumped the air, for finally getting rid of that piece of shit. He always peed on his bed, and that led to some awkward situations with Minnie.

Donald and Goofy sat in Mickey's fucked-up lounge. There were empty beer cans, unfinished cigarettes and pornographic magazines scattered around the place, and the sofas were bought from some really dodgy guy from the black market. They all had a pipe of bong in their mouths, and the room was slowly filling up with an 'unusual' smell.

"So, why the fuck are we here Mickey? Do you need more dough for your some more of your fucking polish vodka?" asked goofy.

"No, I actually have fucking beautiful news to you guys. If you guys actually had a fucking phone in the shit-holes you call homes!" shouted Mickey, his spit flying everywhere.

"You don't have one either," stated Donald. Mickey stared deeply into his very soul.

"Shut the fuck up" he simply replied, "I just thought we could be social or something and smoke a butt-load of weed."

"But why the fuck should we, it's a Tuesday," Goofy said.

"Well, it is a special occasion, and that's what you fucking do on special occasions you cunts." Mickey told him.

"But what is so special?" asked Donald. Mickey lay back in his armchair and wriggled around a bit until he found a good position.

"Well, my fucking garbage-dog Pluto has gone," Mickey told them. Goofy and Donald sat up in their seats.

"No fucking way!" Donald exclaimed, and Goofy rapidly nodded his head in agreement.

"Now that that fuck-wit is gone we can have such a fucking good-time!" Goofy said, "Pull out some of that pleasure-plant Mickey!" Mickey bit his lip when Goofy remarked this.

"The thing is…." Mickey slurred.

"Speak up would you? We can't understand a fuck you say Mickey," Goofy said.

"Well, actually I can hear him," Donald said. Goofy turned his head to Donald.

"Fuck you," he said simply, and they turned their attention to Mickey, who was slouching a bit more than usual.

"Yes, you have a boner," Donald stated, and Mickey death-stared him.

"Why the fuck are you looking down there?" Mickey asked Donald, who was looking quite worried about something. Mainly that now Mickey probably thought Donald was gay or something.

"Anyway, let's get to the fucking point why don't we," Mickey addressed them, "I ran out of weed, I used it all." Goofy and Donald stared at him, a gobsmacked expression on their face.

"No fucking way." Goofy said simply. They all knew there was one thing to do.

Mickey, Donald and Goofy stood in front of a broken down shack, with weeds, bits of rusted metal and neglect scattered all over the front. This was Mickey's pit stop for easy to get drugs. Mickey had the others in a circle, so they could talk over some important matters.

"Right, this is the hot-spot for cracking open a bag of meth," Mickey told the others. Goofy looked over his shoulder at the old-dump.

"What's so good about this fucking piece of shit?" Goofy asked. Donald nodded in agreement.

"Yeah," he said, "You dragged us like 3 miles just to get to an abandoned shit-hole?"

"You guys are complete fuck-heads you know?" Mickey told them, "Okay, this is the house of some fucked-up chimp called Rafiki. He used to work for kings or something in the jungle, but the gods showed him heroine and now he's hooked to the drug business" the others looked at each other, then back at Mickey.

"Okay then," Donald said, "How much does he charge for a few bags of marijuana?" Mickey smiled to himself when Donald mentioned the price. He had an idea in mind.

"Well," Mickey said, with a slight drawl to his voice, "Rafiki won't charge you in dough." Donald's and Goofy's jaw's dropped.

"No fucking way," Goofy said, mouth still hanging down like a drooping dildo.

"Oh yeah, you better believe it Goofy," Mickey drawled on, "But you have to pay him in something else,"

Mickey and Goofy were poking Donald in the direction of the front door, Donald webbed feet, trying to reverse, but there was no going back from this.

"It don't want to give the fucking monkey a blowjob!" Donald shouted at them.

"Come on Donald," Goofy chuckled.

"Yeah," Mickey said, "Just sit tight for half an hour, that should give you three bags of our weed,"

"This is FUCKED UP," Donald screamed, now thrashing about, "HOW DO I SUCK A DICK WITH A FUCKING BEAK!" Donald was on the verge of flying away, so Mickey and Donald, with their last reserves of strength, pushed him up the right up to the door, they fling the door open and threw him in, keeping the door shut. The last thing they heard the scream of a duck and a high-pitched giggle of a chimp.

30 minutes later, Mickey and Goofy were laying down in some bushes having finished Goofy's cigarette packet. The they heard a loud bang, and the door burst open, a matted and mentally-scarred Donald ran out, a hairy arm reaching out for him. Donald slammed the door behind him, squashing the arm, and causing a scream to come from the house.

"You got the goods?" Mickey asked him, and he turned around with 4 bags of freshly grown and processed marijuana. Mickey and Goofy jumped up so fast, that some nearby mating birds accidently went anal.

"4 BAGS!" shouted Goofy in extreme joy, his face in an almost orgasmic expression.

"How did you make that fucking ape give you're ANOTHER FUCKING BAG!" Mickey exclaimed, "I've tried for 3 YEARS, with no success, but you've forced a bunch more weed out of him in ONE FUCKING BLOWJOB!" Donald just stood there, his face in absolute horror, and his body shaking slightly. He dropped the bags and walked away, swearing under his breath.


End file.
